These unparalleled times of living during a pandemic are calling for us to grow and expand ourselves. Finding a sense of safety in the unknown can lead us to powerful, positive transformations in our lives. In this video, I share valuable tools for creating resilience, peace, and even success in uncertainty!
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Hi, my name is Stefan Grafstein & I’m a transformational coach. I work with partners, business leaders and other individuals who are looking to up-level their performance, find their purpose and/or leave a positive legacy behind. I typically do that through working with reprogramming subconscious thought patterns, reprogramming emotional response, and accessing what I call the clear inner knowing that we all have inside.
I’m also very interested in the evolution of culture. What I want to speak to you about today, is the idea around certainty and uncertainty; and how important it is to be able to be comfortable with uncertainty. I think that there’s an epidemic in our culture where we expect things to be a certain fact. We’re raised this way, to believe that we should know the outcomes of life, know where we’re going & that we should be able to have the American dream and plan out everything. In these times, we’re coming to find that’s just not the case. I don’t have any judgment over the way things are in our world right now in terms of people wanting certainty. I think it’s very clearly a product of our times, things have been very good for a very long time here.
We want certainty because it’s enjoyable, and we’ve been building our culture around having certainty. I really think that what we’re facing right now is an epidemic of individuals coming to the reality that there is no such thing as certainty; it’s an illusion! The quicker we can accept that and get in touch with the part of us that is okay with that; the more resilient and the more successful we’ll be. We will have more equanimity & more peacefulness. These are wild, unpredictable, difficult and painful times…
What I’m offering you is to see how you and others around you might be still trying to find certainty; still looking for what can I hold on to and “where can I know that those things are going to be okay”, and that’s hard. It’s really hard to not have certainty especially when we’ve been raised to believe that it’s possible, that we should have it, that it’s available. I wish I could have all of the answers to tell you exactly how to feel confident and feel good. I think I’ve got some good ones that I’ve shared in other videos, but really what I want to offer today is the practice of learning to breathe and relax and be okay. Even when things are uncertain. Just accept that there is no certainty in anything, even when we think there is and learn to accept that.
I guess what I could offer a little bit more as a way to make that easier is to understand, is that the part of us that’s looking for certainty is typically either the emotional part that is afraid, or the analytical part that has been programmed to always look for safety and certainty, and to be trying to find that as a core way of living. Wanting to know the answers, wanting to know the future and like in meditation, where you let go of your thoughts and just be in the now.
We can have that same practice with our waking consciousness with our everyday walking around and noticing, “Oh, there’s that part of me that’s trying to find the answers”. If you learn to just set it aside and focus on what to do next, if you’re not working and you’re not certain like how to spend your day, I encourage you to read, or work on yourself, or be active, or communicate with people, and be as present as you can in those conversations without letting the mind wander into, “well, how do I know that? and what’s going to happen?”